Guard Dogs are usually thought of as breeds that are fierce and protective. But if your dog is so fluffy, snuggly, or silly that they’d meet an intruder by wagging their tail and dropping on top of them? This article highlights the dog breeds that would be the best at guarding, the ones with a loud bark but not much bite.
Since they are either lazy, incredibly sweet, or confused, these dogs show that heroes come in all shapes and sizes, with proper training, sometimes wearing bows, and sometimes needing to sleep.
Guard dogs are meant to scare people away, stay alert, and protect their home – yet some are just not aware of their duties. A few dogs are so kind, so tired, or so busy enjoying treats that they could never be trusted for security at home. These dogs? They’re usually too friendly to bother a burglar. These breeds are among those that would absolutely fail at being good guard dogs due to their affectionate dispositions.
Today, we are looking at dog breeds that would be the best at entertaining when they guard. It’s exactly because they are so clumsy that they are perfect, except for guarding things. Let’s spend some time with these sweet misfits, who are among the best dogs for companionship.
Dog Breeds Who Would Make the Funniest Guards
1. Basset Hound
A Basset Hound could pick up the sound of someone a house or two away, but he won’t get up to look into it. Because they have long bodies and sad expressions, these dogs spend most of their time snoozing instead of doing guard duty.
Though they look wise are not able to find any secret information; they just sniff out crumbs. Even though their ears are long and their eyes droopy, these protection dogs are full of love. They have a pure nap-mode type temperament.
Since they have a strong sense of smell, they could detect someone unfamiliar, but that doesn’t mean they will act on it right away. They won’t move much faster than molasses on a cold January day.
What makes them terrible guards with hilarious results:
Even if they spot the stranger, your pet will not bark because it is so relaxed. If you had a burglar come into your home, they would be welcomed by a slow-motion stare and a snore. A Basset Hound is probably more interested in a dropped snack than in a security alarm. They act like detectives but with all the energy of a sloth on holiday.
2. Pug
Small, round, and energetic, fiercely loyal, Pugs are better known for melting hearts than guarding homes. Whether you are getting food or facing something scary, these pets look utterly confused.
According to PetMD, when they sense danger, they might sneeze loudly, snort, and in rare cases, they’ll even give a little woof, but only if they aren’t sleeping.
How they fail so hilariously at their job as guards:
They will chase the intruder around… to get some belly rubs. Seriously—your home security might just become best friends with an intruder. Funny, isn’t it?
3. Newfoundland
Imagine a Newfoundland as a big, friendly housemate who would assist with moving furniture and also bake cookies for the person who took it. Despite appearing like bears, they are generally calm and sweet, and you may feel just like family, as mentioned by the AKC.
Newfies will bark if they think there is danger, but they prefer to be friendly rather than aggressive. They might greet the burglar with a big hug, which could cause them to fall by accident. Why are they terrible at guarding the treasure? They appear as security, but they behave more like giant, sloppy marshmallows.
4. Labrador Retriever
They are friends to all. Mailman, Bestie of Squirrels in your garden. Is there someone strange in the house? I can show you the place where Labradors are social, outgoing, and they treat strangers as possible playmates. They are faithful pets, but their defence plan is usually to play with their favorite toy.
If your Lab barks at a shadow, it is only trying to get the shadow to join in a game of fetch, according to WebMD. If burglars entered your home, your pet would treat them with tail wags, licks, and a tour around your home.
Why are they so amusingly incompetent as guards?
Choose to have both a Labrador and a security system, because the Lab might attract burglars with its cheerful and friendly nature.
They are extremely loyal, and they are also very friendly. Who makes them hilarious guards? Barking is a sign of excitement upon seeing a new person. Still, you might share a stronger bond with them than with any.
5. Golden Retriever
Golden Retrievers are like a ball of sunshine covered in fur. Many say that these dogs are the PR reps of the dog world because of how obedient, loyal, and cute they usually are.
You’ll get a heads-up about a visitor, so you can all throw a welcome party. Need someone to give you a warm hug?
Why are they so amusingly incompetent as guards?
They will only attack you by giving you kisses on your face. Golden Retrievers are always enthusiastic, happy, and never suited for guarding anything. They obey well, but they are always friendly.
A burglar could steal your TV and also leave you with a new friend. Goldens are not suspicious enough to doubt anyone, and fetch is too much fun for them to concentrate on what they are supposed to do.
The reasons they are hilariously inept guards:
Purina states that they can wag their tails faster than an alarm that uses motion sensors.
6. Shih Tzu
They were not bred for security, but to keep the emperor’s company: Shih Tzu instincts of a marshmallow.
A person or animal they are not familiar with might get a bark unless your pet is busy napping or grooming itself. The best they could do was to yap a little to let us know something was going on. In the worst case, they would hide underneath the furniture. They would be your best companion dog but not an effective guard dog, especially when compared to other dogs.
Why are they so amusingly incompetent as guards?
They will protect the throne without paying much attention.
Shih Tzus behave as if they are royalty, but they don’t see guarding as part of their royal role. They were developed to be friends, not to fight. They can bark loudly, but don’t depend on them for much protection.
The biggest problem for them is flipping their hair and suddenly walking away from the person invading their space. Unless the intruder happens to bring snacks, I’d rather not.
Why are they so terrible at guarding things?
They can be aggressive, but only when their sleep schedule is interrupted, according to Orvis.
7. Italian Greyhound
Thin, dainty, and runway-ready, Italian Greyhounds are all about being fast and calm. They tend to run away when they hear something that seems strange, rather than facing it directly. They may love their humans a lot, but if they need a guard dog, these timid dogs aren’t the best choice.
Why are they so amusingly incompetent as guards?
Your pet will run away from you.
All in all, these Anti-Guard dogs are the ones we love best. Although Italian Greyhounds are refined, sensitive, and look impressive, they don’t seem brave. Not exactly. They are quick on their feet, love cozy moments, scare easily, and are not fans of loud noises.
They can notice a sound from far away, yet will panic if something happens nearby. If someone breaks into your home, they are most likely to leave without being seen.
What makes them hilariously incompetent, ineffective guards?
They behave the same way with danger as they do with loud toasters – by disappearing.
Conclusion:
Not every dog must be a guardian, and that’s a great thing. Guard dogs make the world a lot less joyful if they ain’t silly, loving, and downright terrible. These dogs can’t scare strangers, but they are great friends, loyal, and always make their owners smile.
A bodyguard is useless when you have a pet dog to can’t help but snuggle, play, or just be cute when you need help. If you want a dog for companionship more than guarding, these funny pets are the right ones for you.
